So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
