She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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