are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
