She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
