Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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