I don't usually arrange sex via text message
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
