Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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