Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
they need to just BURY HIM!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
time to smoke my breakfast
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
