it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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