Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
