distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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