omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
