Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
