it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
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