My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
