So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
