the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
