lets start a swedish sibling band together
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
