You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
