just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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