He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
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Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
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the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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