But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
