ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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