he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
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He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
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So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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