Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
