I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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