I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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