somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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