btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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