i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
