Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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