just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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