I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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