No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
