Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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