don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
