Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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