kristin has been a bad kristin
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
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