I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
