You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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