I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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