he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
