If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
