i think my mom watched the whole time
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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