thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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