Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
