there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
