u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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