i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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