dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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