im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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