One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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