Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize