Nicole vs. Life
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
