can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
