OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
