can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
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The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
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Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
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