Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
